Daily Archives: March 25, 2017

New Categories (Blog Maintenance)

Going through and changing the categories of all these felt like a hopeless task since a) the blog has gone through a LOT of purposeful changes since I started it so many years ago and b) it was a little painful and embarrassing that I haven’t been more dedicated to the role of this blog.

But since my posts get broadcast to 1200+ people on Twitter at least, I figured it was time to get this rolling and start getting serious about what I want to discuss here. So for those that were keeping track here are some other changes:

  • Some posts that are more personal or meant for a smaller audience are being moved to the Private category
  • Sub-categories are a thing now
  • Manifesto posts have been transitioned to The Queen category – it’s not just about a plan of action for my life, it’s about stepping into the role I want to live in. Each of the sub-categories represents aspects of the Queen – other archetypes that are also a part of me.
  • I haven’t messed too much with content–yet. I’m a strong believer in preserving the past, no matter how embarrassing, but some posts need to be retooled.

It’s actually been eye opening to gain insight into my patterns of blogging. Giving me ideas for the future.

An Open Heart Hears the Message

The past five years have been unusually dark for me. Full of family turmoil and career drama. I’ve had plenty of reasons to run and hide, to isolate myself from the world. I stopped dating, I stopped really socializing too. I locked away in my little protective bubble where nothing could touch me. And how fitting that this spring I’m starting to emerge into who I have always wanted to be.

I’m sure the isolation served a purpose, allowed me a chance to rest, regroup and plot my way forward. But so much hurt, so much shame, so much trauma and I was more stuck than empowered. Contrast that to where I am now, more social, more vocal, more grounded in who I am. I believe strongly that this is where I need to be right now, in a space of manifestation and creation, fulfillment and passion. It’s time for me to start making some of my own dreams come true and actualizing the purpose I have for my life.

It’s even more important for me to be in this space…

Right here and right now 

I can’t even say how long it’s been since I used the word “passion” to describe myself. I’ve been in survival mode for so long that passion had hardened into a strong shell of resentment over the years I had to put aside what I wanted and desired to avoid judgment and shame. And that passion barely had any embers left until the beginning of 2016.

It was a shitty year….we know this now. And when I had started writing this back in October, I had no idea how bad it would get. I had no idea that so many of us survivors of sexual assault would get activated and retraumatized all at once. I couldn’t see that coming. But to have that same person now in the White House is even more terrifying. And more threatening. Read the rest of this entry

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