Something magical happened the day my kid turned 18 last week. I felt an unfettered freedom to be exactly who I am and what I was meant to be. No longer confined to the narrowly tailored expectations that we place on parents, where we must be equal parts perfection and control, I feel like the load has lightened just a little.
Being a parent has been one of the hardest jobs of my life, less because of my children and more because of everyone else’s opinions on who I should be for my kids. At the worst of times, people have tried to use my sexuality to intimidate and harass me threatening to have my kids taken away from me. At other times, the memories of working in child protection linger triggering paranoia that maybe I’m doing it wrong and don’t even realize it. We walk a careful balance to give our children safety and accountability while offering affirmative direction and consistent care.
I’m proud of the fact that my kids have felt safe enough to come out to me, to understand the truth of who they are knowing I will be there to celebrate them unconditionally. I can’t protect them from all of life’s messes, but I can give them the assurance that I will always be there.
However, I know that not everyone in my family holds the same level of acceptance as I do. Some just don’t get it, others are deliberately organized against anything LGBTQ. And so I know that while I might call some of these people family, it is in a technical label for a recognized social unit, it isn’t what I’d consider mi familia. No, those are my chosen family – the queer leaders and the witchy guardians, the leather daddies and cosplay moms. These are the people who love and accept me for who I am, my true family…our Geek Hive. And those are the people that my kids will always be able to count on to support them and love them through all their ups and downs…because we all need that, don’t we?
This week Thanksgiving kept coming up as a theme – the idea of family gatherings that are becoming increasingly combative with the hostile emotional environment of the world right now. We are so polarized that not only can we not speak to our family about certain issues, we can’t even really break bread with them either. The Revelations Tarot shares a mirror for our soul this week – acknowledging that once we’ve seen ourselves, it’s hard to feel comfortable in the shells our families created for us. Last week’s Tower post is very relevant to this energy this week. Be prepared for some discomfort and disconnection and note areas of dissonance in our lives, for when we show up as our authentic selves, we begin to see what no longer fits us.
See more below…
Where we are this week
Ace of Pentacles (R)
We are on a high from last week where our true selves were acknowledged on some level. We were seen or heard. We got a message of affirmation from the universe in the Taurus Full Moon eclipse. So why are we feeling so drained? Because this is the way of the world, dear friends. We are entering a phase of restriction, of dissonance with all that we’ve discovered about ourselves int he process. It feels like deprivation because once we’ve made the choice to be who we really are; the status quo will never feel right again.
High stakes and fading opportunities
Messages from our Guides
Three of Wands (R)
Our guides are here to warn us that our dreams are not going to take shape the way we wished. Some doors will be closed to us now once we start choosing our Our guides remind us that the hardest part of setting intentions is that we have to surrender to the mysteries of the unknown. We can be the most tender, loving gardener, but if we’re constantly testing and tweaking the outcome of our manifestation efforts, they’ll never arrive. We have to allow the universe time to do its thing. This is a test of our faith in them and in us. Just like the earth embraces the winter, the slowing down of growth, in the faith that spring will come again, so too must we trust the process and timing of the universe. We need to let go of the need to control the outcome and put our faith in the vast unknown that one day spring will come again.
Disconnection and dissonance
Messages from Lady Gaia
Wheel of Fortune
Cycles of death and rebirth are some of the most simple for us to identify in our lives. When we recognize that all of life is a cycle, we can let go of the force we apply with our expectations. We can instead flow more harmoniously with nature. When we start to integrate the cycles and patterns of nature, we weave our own luck, for we start to recognize the importance of divine timing. How opportunities will present themselves and how old opportunities will fade away. Listen to the rhythms of nature, obey Gaia’s lead int he spaces between rest and action. Trust that now is the right time to be in alignment with her.
Honor nature’s rhythms.
Messages from our Ancestors
Ten of Cups
Our ancestors acknowledge that our families of origin are not always the most reflective, the most positive, the most aware. But many of us have been calling in our soul families – our families of choice – those who truly see and support us, who cheer us on and come to our rescue when the chips are down. These are the families we need most right now. So wherever we wind up this week, know that our perfect home base is gathering to support us, to give us a safe place to be ourselves. Trust that our ancestors are bringing the right people into our field right now.
Embrace our Chosen Family.
Messages from our Future Selves
The Sun (R)
Our future selves normally are giving us a version of who we want to be, but this week, they are warning us about who we DON’T want to be. Be careful of the cockiness of thinking we can go it alone, of burning bridges just because we want to shine brightly until a heap of tinder erupts in flames. There is a lot of combative energy in the air right now, don’t add combustion to an already difficult or hostile situation. Be mindful of how we use our power. Follow Wheaton’s Law: Don’t be a Dick.
Don’t fly too close to the sun.
Message from Mother Mary
Ten of Wands
This is the “get back to work” management card. We’ve accumulated so much knowledge and understanding. This week when we are challenged to lash out with anger, we need to remember the lessons of the past few months and not let ourselves get creative, but instead use the observations of the next week to build bridges between us and our ideal selves. By utilizing the tools and resources we have gathered over all this time and dig in and do the work. For in the application of our knowledge, our memories, our retrieved shadows, we can avoid the hubris and vengeance that keeps us locked in patterns of disconnection.
Do the Work.
Ten of Swords
Why are willingly walking into hostile territory? What is the higher goal? What is the deeper truth? What is the most powerful intention for this surrender? There is a difference between surrendering in defeat and surrendering a battle in order to regroup and fight another day. The latter is the energy of this extra card that just popped out of nowhere. If we’re going to make a sacrifice of ourselves, at least let it be for a good reason – because it will get us closer to our highest selves, not because we’ve given up.
Discern what is a willing sacrifice.
Five of Wands (R)
Not every battle is worth it
Knight of Swords
Make it safer for others
I usually draw a card from the top and the bottom to give us the overall impression and the undercurrents for the week. But this week I felt it was important to discuss that the undercurrent of energy here is combative, unfair, cutthroat competitiveness. Be mindful of our energy and don’t engage with those who are just out to fight to avoid their own woundedness. This will not be productive. But the Knight of Swords here also carries an energy of verbal protection – that if we’re putting ourselves through emotional harm and hostility, the best use of This energy is to model for others how to act, how to communicate, how to protect those who are also feeling threatened by these same combative forces. We have the power to transform this energy, but recognize that not all battles are worth it.
May we find the blessings of this week in the small moments of our day, sharing gratitude for the wisdom of the May the blessings of this week bring us a willingness to surrender to the great mysteries of the universe as we enter a new era of freedom and sincerity. May our hearts be guided to genuine reconciliation and harmonization of the multi-faceted beauty we carry within. May we bear loving tribute to the soul song within us as we open our hearts to the songs of others.
I am with you always in love 💖
So may it be.
I offer A VARIETY OF READINGS & REIKI SESSIONS that can:
- Reboot relationship(s)
- Check-in with the body’s chakras
- Uncover hidden talent & treasure
- Clear emotional blockages
- Channel messages of Divine Love
- Step up as a leader
- Harmonize past lives