Check back for more resources

By the end of 2024, I want to start gathering the names of professionals and organizations that provide assistance to those who are in marginalized communities and/or are friendly and inclusive of kink, nonmonogamy, and sex workers, I want to hear from you! I get requests for both. If this is you, contact me at janet@rose-connections.com to say hello (please don’t use the contact form here) or schedule a coffee chat with me here.

Distinguishing Abuse from BDSM

“Everything we do is about consent” is what we often say in the kink and BDSM communities. While true, that doesn’t mean abusers & predators don’t try to hide out in the BDSM, kink or non-monogamous communities. Here are some resources I’ve developed to tell the difference.

• Distinguishing abuse handouts (Latest version: as presented at Sex Education on the Western Front, 2024)
• My presentation for Woodhull’s Virtual Sexual Freedom Summit Distinguishing Abuse (2020)

Kink-Aware Response Framework

While I find Mental Health First Aid to be a useful tool, I wanted to develop something that was a bit more pinpointed for kink communities to help reduce retraumatization in scenes. Contact me for more information about this class.

• Assess for distress
• Give avenues of control/choice
• Reassure safety & Release expectations
• Encourage open communication
• Evaluate for understanding.

Grounding Techniques

When triggered, using these kinds of techniques can help bring you back you into your body, helping you regain stability.

• 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique (University of Rochester)
• 7 Grounding Techniques for Anxiety (Forbes)

Political Action

If you are wondering what you can do to help create a better world, here are a few downloads & links to get you started.

(Resources are changing by the day, please be patient as I add more)

• National Resilience Strategy (from President Biden’s White House 1/19/25)

Trauma Informed Care

I have been practicing trauma-informed care since 2014. It is not just one set of tools or a certification you take once and call yourself “competent”. It is an ever growing process of uncovering bias, responding with compassion & reducing retraumatization.

• Trauma-Informed Approach (SAMHSA)
• This is your brain on poverty (Pacific Standard)
• Twelve Stages of Burnout (Dominion Systems)

Trauma Responses

Encountering trauma in the kink community comes with its own considerations. Here is a framework I have been developing over the years to respond when trauma, triggers and distress come up in kink spaces.

• What does Fight, Flight, Freeze & Fawn Mean? (WebMD)
• Understanding the fawn response (Psychology Today)
• Distinguishing between freeze & fawn (A Place of Hope)

Trauma & Memory

Processes in the brain when experiencing trauma or retraumatization can alter how the brain stores & retrieves memory.

• Normal Memory vs. Traumatic Memory (Department of Justice)
• Memory Systems (NICABM)

Therapeutic Techniques

There are different ways to address trauma with professionals. Remember different kinds of therapy will work for different types of people and traumas. These are the ways that have worked well for me.

• Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) (Cleveland Clinic)
• Somatic therapy (Harvard Medical)
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (American Psychological Association)

Have other resources to share?

Email to discuss adding your organization, website or listing to this site:

janet@rose-connections.com