I am an experienced, sex-positive professional, licensed attorney and trained mediator. An honors graduate of Loyola University Chicago with a BA in Sociology and a graduate of the University of Denver College of Law, I have focused my career on advocacy, relationship building, and conflict resolution. I have spent time both in the public sector and private sector as an advocate, lobbyist, advisor and general do-gooder. I pride myself on my empathy, understanding, and the ability to bridge the gaps between differing ideas and experiences to create conscious, lasting change in people’s lives. In particular, I find that most of my professional experience can be summed up with: I know how to listen and speak so others can hear the message.
That is a weighty responsibility – listening and speaking. I have been standing in front of audiences delivering not just prepared speeches, but on-the-fly, responsive facilitation of group conversations since my early years in grade school. (Yes, grade school). I’m comfortable in front of diverse audiences of all sizes whether it be a small lunchtime group of professionals or a full auditorium. I try to use areas of commonality for audiences to connect to the core message of my talks and use those common interests and experiences to deliver messages that highlight pathways to addressing larger community needs.
Specifically, as an educator, I focus my talks on connecting to more universal ideas and experiences to recognize and heal areas where shame, guilt, and conflict are at play. I give my audiences the tools to inspire personal growth and lasting change in their lives and to keep them motivated when they find obstacles to the desired connection in their personal relationships. I’ve taught at a variety of lifestyle conferences, mentoring groups, and college campuses.
For professional groups, like attorneys, therapists, and law enforcement, I connect my presentation to larger legal, ethical, and public policy concerns. I utilize the tools, language, and research already used within these professions to reframe the discussion to promote understanding and thoughtful action. I de-mystify alternative sexualities, dispel myths and identify areas of opportunity to better understand and align services with the needs of the sex-positive community.
My goal is for people to feel empowered to engage in relationships, whether personal or professional, from an authentic space of conscious decision-making, mutual understanding, and connection. My presentations are energetic, interactive, and substantive.
Below are examples of presentations I’ve given in the past and the type of discussions I enjoy leading:
- The Poly Political Agenda –(PolyLiving – Philly 2013, Rocky Mountain Poly Living 2015, 2017) – 90 min facilitated conversation
- Conflicting Styles, Complimentary Choices – (Beyond the Bedroom 2012, various lifestyle and neighborhood groups 2012 – present) – 90 min Interactive Workshop
- Running on Empty: Extending empathy when compassion fatigue hits – (Rocky Mountain Poly Living 2016, 2017) – 90 min facilitated circle/discussion
- Distinguishing Abuse in Alternative Sexual Cultures: How to respond respectfully to victims of abuse in BDSM, polyamory, and swinging relationships (Denver Domestic Violence Coordinating Council – 2014, Colorado Organization for Victim Assistance (COVA) – statewide conference 2014) – 90 min Lecture w/ handouts for vocabulary, tips for engagement
- BDSM, Poly, Swinging 101 – (Arapahoe Community College: Sociology of Deviance – 2015; Human Sexuality – 2017) – 90 min Q & A lecture
- Coming-out Conversations – (Beyond the Bedroom 2012, Rocky Mountain Poly Living 2015) – 60 min facilitated discussion
- Writing Dynamic Relationship Agreements – (Poly Living – Philly 2013) – 90 min workshop
- Consent Conversations – (Local BDSM, poly and swinging groups 2010 – present) – 2 hour facilitated conversations
- Intergalactic Influences on Love, Relationships & Sexuality – (StarFest – 2017) – 50 min facilitated discussion
This is just an example, not a limit. Whether your interest is in a full weekend of training and seminars, a 50-minute overview, or hosting a private informational party I can adapt these or create new presentations to serve your audience.
Contact me to discuss your needs – firstname.lastname@example.org
“Thank you again for coming to my class to speak about BDSM and polyamory. Students wrote reflection papers in response to your presentation and I could tell from reading those papers how much students valued your open and honest sharing of your relationships and experiences. There are so many misconceptions around polyamory and BDSM and you countered those misconceptions and really helped the students understand how those choices play out in real life. So thank you so much! And I will reach out to you next academic year to invite you to speak again!” – Erica H.
“I found Janet on Twitter many months ago and was immediately drawn to her vulnerability. As a sex educator, vulnerability is important, she is not just presenting facts as others do, but personal experiences which are relatable to me (and so many others). Because of her honest emotion, I felt comfortable enough to respond with my own questions on polyamory. I felt that she offered a safe-space to let me be vulnerable right back, something severely lacking these days. Janet offers a breath of fresh air in her writing style, it is easy to read, thought-provoking, and inspirational. It takes a brave soul to put yourself out there on the internet these days with sensitive subjects such as these; sex, love, intimacy, non-monogamy, self-love, etc.. thank you, Janet, for all your hard work in the sex-positive community. I cannot wait to hear you speak in person one day!” –Megan Ashley
As much I want everyone to have access to quality sexuality and relationship education, the reality is that these presentations are labor-intensive, involving hours of research, writing, and development behind the scenes to prepare for what seems like a simple 90-minute discussion. When I am not compensated for that time and effort, it takes away from what I can give to my employers, family, and relationships, limiting my availability for future speaking gigs.
However, I also understand that cost can be a significant barrier, particularly for groups funded through donations. I am open to negotiating a fair rate or consider an exchange of goods & services that will adequately cover my time and costs without breaking your bank.
I also offer personalized coaching sessions for groups and individuals on a variety of topics including polyamory, conflict resolution, relationship agreement setting, or personal transformation. I can offer a sliding scale for sessions but typically charge $175/60 min session.
Contact me to get started – email@example.com