Thank you all for your patience these past few months as I’ve been pivoting, healing and planning. I miss posting the Messages of Divine Love here, but WordPress kept lagging so badly that even copying & pasting a post became a 2 hour chore. In fact, the majority of my time was spent on Messages of Divine Love that the Patreon suffered, losing people along the way. And when Patreon suffered my income suffered.

Prioritization has never been a talent of mine even when others control a deadline. Whatever flavor my neurodivergence has this week – ADHD, PTSD, formerly gifted girl with self-esteem struggles – I tend to either burrow into one specific thing or spin my wheels trying to escape the consequences of an impulsive, typo-ridden post on one of the too many social media channels I casually flirt with but won’t ever commit to.

That said, I am proud to say that I have pulled off some difficult things lately that has given me some freedom to actually breathe and complete a few of my goals. I’ve worked with entrepreneurs who are trying to grow their dreams into reality. I was able to overcome a substantial part of the lingering social anxiety by giving several in-person readings thanks to a brief partnership with Magic Mana Collective in Denver. I serve on two boards and have been sought as a consultant on a variety of issues. I taught amazing classes that restored my faith in communities that I didn’t even realize had soured so deeply. And I mean, I got to meet Aleks Paunovic too!

Yet, there is a guilt that lingers from the over-promising, the forgetfulness and overwhelm that once vibrated so deeply within me that I couldn’t separate myself from it. I tried to offer classes a few months ago that just seemed to fizzle in front of me despite my best efforts. Thwarted from supporting myself this way, I’ve been scrambling to get my legs under me again, to pivot into the space where I feel most comfortable – using my presence to share insight, connect ideas and spark hearts.

WhilE the WOrld Falls Apart

During this unplanned sabbatical from this blog, the world has been crumbling at an extraordinary rate. There are no words I can offer that account for deep entrenchments we see. People who lean into dehumanization to justify collective punishment. Broad, sweeping generalizations, the break-down of credibility in our media & governance structures. All of this started during the 2016 election, accelerated during 2020 with conspirituality (all of which had deeply antisemetic origins) and just got more embedded in the lumpy aftermath of the insurrection.

Thanks to that backdrop of audacious distrust in the institutions we rely on for justice, truth, integrity, we find we have very limited options – go along to get along or tear it all down. That we are all becoming aware of a genocide unrolling its trauma narratives in front of us, we are very literally confronted with, “What would our ancestors have wanted us to do differently?”

While I cannot answer that for any individual, I am deeply connected now to my own and I know exactly what they would say: This must stop. These cycles of colonization, control, paranoia, fear and retribution have to stop masquerading as justice. True justice is only found when all are liberated, when all is transparent, when all people are as important as each other.

The revelations and awareness we’ve been seeing must grow beyond the self-centered walls of our own protection to start including others who aren’t like us, to encourage safety for those who aren’t in our normal circles. We have to be committed to the process of healing ourselves, but not limited there. We have to be able to hold our own extremes in a compassionate container if we are ever to find the integrity to hold contradictory global truths, (Palestinian freedom shouldn’t result in the loss of Jewish safety; Jewish safety shouldn’t have to require the loss of any Palestinian life).

I know I would be forgiven taking the time I needed to come to a space of healing and replenishment, but that generosity is what I want to offer to others. I’ve decided to grow my business in such a way that I’m offering services that not only align with my talents, but offer support through these darkest, deadliest days of humanity. This means I have to start stepping up how I show up. Including sticking up for the Palestinian people, holding us to a higher standard for humanity, I hope the classes I am offering this December set the stage for what that can look like.

December is a time of Transformation

December is a month of dark and light, cold and warmth. As we approach the winter solstice, the longest night of the year in the northern hemisphere, our bodies feel the gravity of the hibernation happening all around us. We infuse the world with light for all that we are now missing from the daytime. It is a time of damp decay and brittle breaks, but also delicious delights and bright benevolence.

Balancing these extremes might come as second nature to some, but for others, it can be a daunting task. Our society gets so bent out of shape when required to inhabit the liminal spaces of humanity, but it’s only when we’re away from the loneliness of duality and binary systems that we can see the glimmers of authencity that shimmer on the horizon.

Only when the towers have come down do we recognize the inherent harms that were embedded in the foundations we stand on. It’s then that we can see the vast array of wisdom that our intuition offers, the connectedness that is possible that originates in the pulsing heart of Earth herself. It is only when the dust is settled that we can find the parts of our identity that truly matter, that are worth preserving. For then we can see patterns and make better, informed choices about what structures we want to build for our future.

Every December since I turned 16, I have performed a ritual during my birthday that involves some part of this pattern – the examination of the tower, the beliefs, practices and behaviors that inhabit my inner walls, the tearing down brick by brick the pride, deception and failures that I inflicted on others. I would carve myself down to the core of who I am and beg forgiveness in the dark, afraid, remorseful. (I may not go to confession in the Catholic Church anymore but the perpetual penitente energy still runs deep in my veins.)

Under the light of the tree, the lights, the candles in the dark of winter before the solstice, I’d see a glimmer – an impossible glittering light of hope on the horizon, pointing me to where I would go for the coming year. Transformation became my enduring truth, each year ridding myself of the guilt and sorrow while reconstructing myself into more of who I really am.

That’s why I will be teaching three classes this December, this time of transformation. We are going through a global moment of awakening (one of many waves that will come through with social change dating all the way back to the Occupy Movement of 2011 and the election of 2016). These patterns are intuitively familiar to me, a regular feature especially during my birthday month. So instead of doing this in isolation, I’m creating a few spaces for us to learn, practice and heal together.

New Classes

Surviving your Tower Moment – Dec. 6

Navigating change without losing yourself

I have been wanting to teach this class for years, pitching it to various conferences, writing articles, doing guest spots to introduce the idea of the Tower as a way of deconstructing change to make it less daunting, more empowering. I will cover the three tiers of change that the Tower can teach us: 1) breaking out of our first tower, 2) breaking in our second, third, etc., 3) breaking through the foundations to envision a better world. I cannot wait to take you on this exploration of self so that you can better surf and survive the intense change that has been rolling through our timelines.

Intuitive Tarot for Heart Centered Leadership – Dec. 12

Using tarot to connect to your intuitive leadership skills

Throughout my 30 year career in policy, law, and advocacy it became second nature to understand how to evaluate evidence-based processes and methodologies. But that wasn’t why I was successful (or at least not the only reason). The skill I ended up relying on the most was my ability to intuitively read the room to better understand the stakeholder interests, the longer-term patterns and human choices that were at play.

While I didn’t use tarot to determine the course of policy, I did use it to check in with myself and better understand the patterns underlying what I was seeing. Was it just wishful thinking or did I pick up that that this person is interested in my talking points? Am I being too desperate or is my confidence shining through? Being able to answer these questions for yourself is one the best tools any heart-centered leader can have in their tool box.

In this three-hour class I’ll cover the basics of tarot, teaching you how to tap into your intuition to “read the room” of your own influences, biases and hopes. You’ll also get a chance to sign up for an additional 90 min group practice session to use the tarot to center yourself during the solstice/holiday season.

Year-End Messages of Divine Love Review – Dec. 28

Trends & Themes from 2023 + Readings for 2024

Speaking of “evidence-based”, I’ve been keeping track of each week’s reading all year to see what kinds of long-term trends might be coming up. Tracking the themes for the year, the repeat patterns and oversights, I can better evaluate my own biases and offer bigger picture messages that might not have been noticed otherwise. Join me for this two-hour event where I’ll not only share what I’ve discovered about this year’s readings during the first hour, I’ll be pulling cards for 2024 for the next hour including the first week’s reading for the new year.

I hope to finally meet you all in one of these classes. Please share with anyone else you think will be interested. Thank you for supporting my work!