Three things to do before the end of 2011
I’m not a doom and gloom sort of girl. Never been good at that. Sure, I can see a storm coming like anyone else. I’m not blind. But I’m also not the type to panic needlessly. Or at least that it is my aim. I got an email the other day with these words “Three things to do before the end of 2011”. A spiritual lifehack. I’m down for that. But the timeline bothered me. Before 2011 ends. What if I don’t turn in the assignment on time? Will I miss the spiritual woo-woo bus to salvation? What if I fail?! OMG panic.
*Let’s conveniently ignore that I used the term “OMG” in print. Eww*
Anyway, it directed me to this site and briefly described these three things:
- Align all your energy and commitment to your biggest dream
- Step into your Soul Purpose
- Move forward from your wholeness, not your fears
While the site does offer insights into what the author believes is a massive transformation of spirit and global energy (which I do not dispute) the steps are so simple, so attainable, so easy that I wanted to go into a little bit of detail about what it means to me and why I think the time couldn’t be better for us to start applying these principles to our lives.
1. Align all your energy and commitment to your biggest dream
“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.”– Christopher Reeve
I have reached a point in my life where my dreams are shifting from the improbably to the inevitable. A year ago I wrote a statement of purpose about my career. The gist was that I wanted to be more independent, more able to be free and open about my life, my relationships, my sexuality. I wanted to be able to use my skills to help real people heal their lives and improve their situation. And while I am not exactly at 100% on this, it is inevitable that I will be doing these things for the rest of my life. It is inevitable that I will not settle for less ever again. I will have opportunities to practice my healing arts. I will bear witness to lives that have been touched by me on some level. I will succeed and I will realize my dreams. It really is inevitable.
But like the quote implies, I had to summon the courage to do it. I had to summon the strength and foolish bravery within myself to see the vast potential in my world. Just to even see it was there. And it doesn’t mean I’m not scared. There is a part of me that is absolutely terrified. The word failure is the boogeyman that haunts my thoughts and I can only quiet it by supplanting it with positive thoughts about my future.
And by doing what this principle states: aligning all my energy and commitment to my biggest dream. And I’m not focusing just on career here. I’m focusing on my relationships, my friendships, the connection I have with family and friends, the impact I have on my community, both Chicano based and kink-based. This is not about maintaining. This is not about putting up with bad behavior until I finally have had enough. This is about me answering the call back to myself, to the things and situations that matter to me, reassessing where I spend my time and energy and making sure it all matches the dream I have for my entire life, not just one section of it.
2. Step into your Soul Purpose
“This is our purpose: to make as meaningful as possible this life that has been bestowed upon us; to live in such a way that we may be proud of ourselves; to act in such a way that some part of us lives on.” –Oswald Spengler
It is not just about a calling (although that helps) it’s about listening to what your soul is telling you on the quietest, most intimate level. I’ve had the advantage here for few decades. I’ve know my purpose. I’ve known my calling. It doesn’t mean that I always stepped up to the plate and participated fully in it. I tried to define it, put a fence around it, make it bend to the will of society so it would be acceptable and unobtrusive.
But that is not what my soul wanted. My soul wanted me to firmly and loudly declare itself. And circumstances created opportunity after opportunity for me to do that. It’s only been since I’ve freed myself of the restrictions of that self-imposed prison that I’ve started to truly “hear” what my soul has to say about its purpose. this has been a long and drawn out process, but is possible only because I have decided to step always in that direction. To turn toward it instead of against it. To make the choice to
And it’s more than just a calling (although personally I think each of us has at least one)…it’s about making the choice in each moment to be Who You Really Are. To be a representation that work of art that is you. Each moment of each day. Making the hard choices between what society tells you you should be and choosing instead to be openly and unabashedly who you are.
3. Move forward from your wholeness, not your fears
“If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
We cannot manifest our dreams to make them a reality if we are doing so from a place of fear. Period. One of the hardest things for people to consider about themselves is they are enough. But so often we attempt to do extraordinary things from a place of fear, panic, frustration, dissatisfaction. A place where we focus on what we are lacking instead of what we are gaining.
You have seen me write here a lot lately about some hiccups and well-advised pauses in my sexual journey. So much of that experience (which I will write more about) has been focused on my disappointment. My lack. My want. My unsatisfied need. Instead of focusing on the fact that I am enough for my lovers, my husbands, my family, my community, I kept comparing and contrasting which only kept bringing me to the same conclusion…that I wasn’t enough even compared to my former self. But my former self acted out of fear all the time. Restrictions placed on lovers because she was afraid. Scared of what might happen if they didn’t come home to her. Scared of abandonment, scared of failure, scared most of all of not being enough of whatever magical formula she had that attracted them in the first place.
lf all we look at is our failures, that is all we’re ever going to see in ourselves and others. If all we look at is our disappointment, we fail to see the value of our own experiences, our own lives. And indeed, I think we learn more about ourselves if we learn to incorporate and move forward with our full selves. It doesn’t mean we will never face disappointment or experience sadness or betrayal. It’s that we can be focused on something other than “I’m not enough” as the explanation for those events.
Somewhere in my heart and in my daily life I need to finally accept that I am truly enough. That my whole self, my 100% is valuable and treasured. Supported and loved. Not just by the people around me, but by that which created me and that which sustains me. Life is not against me. And even though, personally I have to hear these messages on a daily basis from my family (parents, kids)…perhaps, just maybe it’s not really about me personally. Rather, it’s them unable to see anything but their own lack, their own disappointment and hurt.
What might happen if you put these three concepts into practice today. Right now. No waiting. No procrastinating. No waiting for puzzle pieces to fall into place. Do it right now. What’s stopping you from realizing the true value of your self and your magnificent dreams?