Every now and then I question whether I’m being “too hard” on Patriarchy in my interpretations and my narratives, especially under the heading of Divine Love. But every time I try to take a step back to look at it all I see are the inherent imbalances of patriarchy’s model of supremacy. Patriarchy knows it is unequal in its application of accountability – allowing capitalism excess to accumulate, sponsoring white supremacist rallies with dark money, while implementing coercive control to keep us from being able to see it. Keep us locked in enough trauma, hardship, and fighting for literal survival, the less we can guard against its pernicious tactics.

My view of Divine Love is expansive and free, beautiful and harmonizing. It isn’t just masculine and feminine, but all the delicate bounty of expressions in between and all around. One individual expression of femininity is no more or less valuable than another. What a beautiful gift to be able to recognize and understand ourselves as another expression of light within this sacred spectrum of humanity’s next breath, a rainbow of humanity that defies patriarchy’s definitions of gender.

Every time I see an anti-trans terf shouting to the stars about “real women” and other such nonsense, all I see are them wrapping themselves in distinctions that patriarchy gave us to once justify its version of supremacy over women. And yet, as more and more are identifying as trans and non-binary, who truly benefits from these distinctions of gender? A certain brand of feminists will say that we need these distinctions to right the historic wrongs against women. They will argue that “men pretending to be women” dilutes the power of women’s liberation.

I just don’t believe that. I believe that trans women are women in ways I may never be able to personally relate to, just as a childless woman can’t relate to the love/hate relationship I have with motherhood. None of us are alike – if we were, we’d all have the same period symptoms, cycle length, and start dates. An infinite variety of humanity exists in every moment of our lives especially as we age, as we mature, as we grow, and are influenced by culture, environment, and experience. We outgrow who we once were. The woman I was when I started this blog looks and acts a lot different than the one who is writing today – for one, she had a uterus and I do not. She had a school-aged kid, I am the parent of adult kids. And just like my expression of motherhood will change as my kids grow, wouldn’t it stand to reason that my experience of gender would likewise outgrow old definitions?

But the difference is that instead of believing that only one group deserves the liberation of that growth or that my liberation must come at the cost of someone else’s, I believe that my freedom is dependent upon and indeed, incomplete until, the liberation of all others. And yet for how long has humanity suffered under that first masterful lie from patriarchy’s sniveling, scared lips: women are weaker than men, which is why men deserve to rule over all of them. That conclusion created a scapegoat for life’s struggles: women’s weakness.

And yet we have millennia of examples of women’s true power and strength. Does it look the same as our masculine examples? Of course not, why should it? We’ve been fooled into believing that the only way for us to be unified is if we are all the same. If we all vote blue or red, if we all learn the same things in school, if we all produce a certain amount of wealth, if we all have the same #relationshipgoals, then maybe, just maybe we’ll be allowed to belong.

But to participate in this beautiful spectrum of our humanity is to admit that we each exist at the intersections of our integrated identities, qualities that are more than just our background or DNA. None of us truly belong, because none of us are truly the same, and yet all of us are interconnected to others through the things that we share in our overlapping and intersecting lives. Think about it…we live in multiple dimensions through the memories we’ve shared with others, the people we’ve loved, and the groups we impact with our ideas, the individuals who feel the reverberations of our words and actions. We are infinitely connected through time and space by our shared humanity – so why do we keep insisting on dividing ourselves between two very narrow definitions of male and female? Who does it actually serve?

Time and again, I’m brought back to the same conclusion: Patriarchy. That force that loves to divide, distinguish, separate, and conquer with its exceedingly snide opinions. It gives us excuses to punish those who step outside the expected norms, like weaponizing a certain breed of feminist against other women who dare to define themselves by their own experience – reinforcing these divides only makes us burrow deeper into the trenches of our mere survival.

Let me note here that while I may distinguish between Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine, I see them as just two of the different polarities that keep humanity pulled together. And like the north and south poles offer two extremes of climate, very few inhabit those extremes, whereas most of us live in scattered points in the sphere in between. And we each inhabit a space that is ours alone – we don’t have to perform any one gender definition to be a valuable and deserving person.

Whether someone carries certain biological characteristics matters less when we recognize that we each carry the whole imprint of that balance and thus wherever we exist in creating that balance, the better. For example, according to the Gender Coordinates Test that I’ve taken multiple times (and gotten different results during different parts of my life) I’m “48.33% masculine, 88.75% feminine” which places me at the edge of the feminine quadrant, which is exactly where I naturally gravitate toward. It gives me a perspective that few others will have, but not any less necessary than those who live at other points along that grid.

The Divine Masculine isn’t about “alpha males”, bodybuilder stereotypes, pick-up artists, or other types of hyper-masculine cis men. It’s about how the divinely masculine qualities manifest in the world through each of us, yep, even if we weren’t born with a dick. Because Divine Love is about a balance. A Masculine that can share power, a Feminine who isn’t inhibited from wielding their own power. When we’re allowed to exist as we are – we don’t need to be more girly, we don’t need to dim to fit in with the guys – because Divine Love is about letting us all shine together. We need both the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine together to accomplish this.

I find it notable that these themes emerged after using a deck that I haven’t used in years, the Legend: Arthurian Tarot. Stories of the priestesses of Avalon first introduced me to a non-Catholic version of the goddess, giving me my first spark of interest in this topic. Fitting that it delivers a message asking us to welcome the divine masculine flame into our hearts.

See more below…

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Undercurrents & Final advice

After twenty years of marriage, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that we choose to be together. I choose to make a life with this person. I choose to open my heart. But too often we feel ensnared in old parts of ourselves. Sometimes relationships that refuse to grow and change with us are destined to be left behind. And because of this, we’ll see an undercurrent of relationships breaking apart – allow them. If we aren’t encouraged to grow where we are, we can choose to devote ourselves to spaces that help us become who we were really meant to be. Only by setting ourselves free of the expectations and demands a younger, hornier, more idealistic version of ourselves agreed to, we will never truly experience our fulfillment. Allow these relationships to go with love and care – for all of us are moving toward those opportunities that will truly fulfill us for the journey to come.

Think about the themes that came up at the beginning of the reading – about how we’re reacting to critics, giving our power to the wrong fights. These are the lessons we need to learn and correct if we are to allow room for the divine masculine to finally come through. The imbalances of patriarchy cannot stand, but nor can we shift the pendulum permanently to the other side. We must achieve balance. The Divine Masculine rules with wisdom and with discernment, qualities that live in all of us no matter our gender. These are the qualities we need to reward with our time, attention, and clicks.

Blessing

As we let go of the petty arguments of the past, the false separations of our nature, we make room for equality to take its place. May we find the discerning, wise rulers within ourselves so that we may show up as this kind of leader for others. May our hearts be open with grace and strength to welcome those who are shaking loose of patriarchy’s yoke. May we make ourselves ready for the rise of Divine Love.

I am with you always in love 💖

So may it be.

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