Blog Archives

“Show us your boobs!” and issues of consent.

Since December I’ve been broadcasting weekly Periscope videos focusing on various topics about polyamory. I’ve been having trouble deciding when it was best for me to do these live chats. Lately it’s been Friday afternoons between 4-6pm my time. Due to having previous Valentine’s Day plans with Warrior, I was going to do this one around 10am.

Maybe it was the difference in time and thus the availability of people to join in and watch, but there were a lot more people than usual. And there was more interaction. For this topic I was doing this time, looking at the notes from the session about  Poly Political Resistance, I was flattered that I could talk about this topic with so many people.

05179f12b09f5e3572141f8fc53c09a44d25c0-wm

As found on Whispr. I see about 20 of these in a day. Entitlement to see a woman’s body is the norm I’d like to see more of us question.

As any woman who is active on the internet who even hints about sex on her profile, you’re inevitably asked to show off for your  (primarily) male followers. I’ve had a few comments here and there during the few weeks I’ve been doing this. The ones that are “hi beautiful” and then ask for me to show them my boobs. Usually I will just say no and move on. Asking more than once is enough to distract me from what I was talking about. (How sad is it that I’m so used to it that asking once doesn’t seem to phase me?)

Well, this Friday, someone was asking way more than once for me to show them my boobs. Daring me to block them to get them to stop. Because I didn’t know how to do that and obviously telling them no wasn’t going to work, I just ended the whole thing. (I have since learned how to block during the broadcast).

I got back on a few minutes later (Video here) and tried to pick up before I had been interrupted. I had a few minor incidents during the 2nd broadcast and tried to handle them the best I could.

Read the rest of this entry

Saturday Afternoon Noodlings

So I promised myself that i would make more of an effort to keep this blog updated.  The writing is good for me, even if it’s just mundane shit like my day is today.  Warrior prefers to call the random internet browsing and whatnot “noodling” so I guess that’s what I’ve been doing today.  Noodling.  Here is a small summary:

  • My phone died earlier this week.  Well, more like the right side of my screen died and was unresponsive.  So instead of giving me a deal on my upgrade, Verizon sent me a new version of the same crappy phone that I’ve had to replace twice already.  So here we go again with all the updating…all for a phone I’m only going to have for about a month or so.  You know, starting Angry Birds…again.  Setting the ringtones I had on the last phone back in….again.  Putting in all my passwords and syncing up my contacts…again.  So today i’m making the most of a lazy Saturday afternoon to do all of this stuff …again.
  • Backing up all of my photos to my laptop is another chore.  I have over 7000 pictures.  Several thousand of which are actually pictures stored on my phone for various apps.  But others are pictures that I took for lovers in the past that bring back some warm, fond memories.
  • This week I tried playing around on a new site called Lifestyle Tonight.  While it is meant to be for all lifestyles (it’s been described to me as Facebook for the sex-positive community), I will probably be drafting an email to the people who run the site on how it can be more inclusive.  My sense is that it started with the swingers community and tried to broaden its reach to others in the kink and poly communities.  None of this is bad, I just would like to see more options than “bisexual” or “bi-curious” to be more inclusive of those of us who identify as queer or pan or gender fluid.  But my initial impressions is that it reminds me a little of the old Alt.com back before it was overrun by bots. Feel free to try it out (or send me a message for an invite) and see what you think. Meanwhile I’m going to revive the old bondage.com and alt.com profiles and see how utterly silly I was back in 2006 when I last updated them.
  • Meanwhile on another site I’ve been toying with the membership features of X-Tube.  It’s a porn site.  Pure and simple.  And instead of keeping links to the clips I like on my bookmark list, I decided to try this one out.  In only 3 days of having the profile (with just a picture of my covered boobs on the profile pic), I’ve had 5 offers to play online or in person (one wanted to role-play piss play over skype) and over 100 friend requests, 465 views of my pics and 3 ratings. Only three days.  I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am.  My friend request page is overfull of pictures of cock that I’m quickly becoming bored of so much cock.  In some ways I wish I had been doing this for actual research to see what the patterns are with the people who are friending me and why.  Of course it’s not friending for realsies–more like fandom perhaps.  It’s a little…overwhelming.  Of course I may toy with some of the ones who can actually spell “photo” or give me more than some “I’ll treat you like a queen” sort of statement.  Just because i’m looking at porn doesn’t mean I’m lacking anything.
  • That said, I’m enjoying some of the gay porn on that site.  I’ve been turned off by a lot of straight porn lately.  Most of the women in straight porn don’t look like me–or act like me, so it’s not really a turn on for me.  And when I watch BBW porn, I get very turned on to all the horrid comments left by men who actually chose to watch it too much less the descriptions that make the woman sound gross and desperate–which they aren’t.  So, I tend to go with gay porn most of the time.  Men fucking men makes me hot.  Yup, yup.
  • And I just finished five class descriptions for presentations I might be giving in the very near future for a conference on the east coast this spring. I’m excited.  I haven’t been chosen to give those presentations, but yesterday I had a wild flurry of inspiration that told me, “yes, you do have enough knowledge to be able to teach!”.  So I went with it!

Tonight we have our choice of seeing a friend do artistic bondage set to live piano, go to a holiday belly dance show or to see SkyFall.  Not a bad choice for the night.

%d bloggers like this: