Once upon a time I was someone’s Baby Girl. I’ve been thinking that someday I might be again…even for a moment.
Where I am tonight
Posted on March 31, 2011, in BDSM/Kink and tagged D/s, photos, wishes. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.
Instagram
[CW: rape, sexual assault, survivor guilt] After #MeToo, after #whyididntreport, I decided to look up my rapist, a former airborne army paratrooper. Not the wisest way for me to start my Monday, especially. But when I saw that one of his friends, one of the only people from that night who said “I believe you” is still friends with him on Facebook, I decided to post this. There were at least 5 witnesses to what happened to me. When I left the room bleeding, crying and ready to quit college at Loyola, any of them could have stepped forward to report a crime - it didn’t have to be me. In fact, walking through that crowd of men casually listening to my screams and cries sent a distinct message - them vs. me. At least one of them wouldn’t let me out of the door. Another masturbated during it. Any of them could have reported, but didn’t. Any of them could have helped, but didn’t. Any of them could have asked me if I was okay, but didn’t. I went to my room where I cried on the phone with the only good man I knew at the time (Nano). All I could do was cry. I was speechless for hours, depressed for weeks, skipped my classes more frequently. I wasn’t in a proper state of mind to live, much less report in a strange city with no real friends to support me. It would take 2 years before I could call it rape. Everyone talks about why women don’t come forward - but here we had 5 individuals who were all witness to my rape. Any of them could have come forward, any of them could have called the RA or the cops. Not one of them took action - they cared more for protecting their conspiracy than they did about doing what was right. I didn’t report because the trauma was too great and I didn’t want to hurt my parents. They didn’t report because...?Every time I get a little nervous that the world might judge me as harshly as it once did, that the world might cave in because of who I am, I remember that in the end the only person I need to please is myself. I owe no one an apology for being true to myself. #selflove #grownup #queen #over40 #fearlesswomen #wildwomenBeen enjoying Snapchat a lot lately (same username). It brings out the playful part of me. My childhood was a bit stunted by too much responsibility and spiritually-driven perfectionism. As I age I reclaim more of the girl that I lost, the playfulness without the loneliness. Instagram is where I really embrace my confidently supple Dahlia Goddess/Queen/BossLady. This is where I hold court but Snap is the bedchamber where the wildly dangerous Orchid Princess can shed inhibitions and get as bratty or teasing as she dares. I need balance between the two to truly be myself.Let’s Go Rockies #rockiesbaseball11 years ago vs last month. Much more grey hair. Greater comfort with a camera too maybe. #timehop #grownup #change#Repost @chronic_self_love with @get_repost ・・・ THIS! . #Repost @canadiansextherapist with @get_repost ・・・ UNFOLLOW ANYONE - On social media, in real life - who does not make you feel empowered, safe, informed or inspired! It's 2018. The revolution will be healing and consensual. #canadiansextherapist #revolutionary #sextherapy #inclusivetherapy #traumainformed #empowered #safe #ChronicSex #ChronicLife #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #rheum #fibro #mentalhealth #disability #healthysexuality #selfcare #selflove #loveyourself #chronicallygorgeous #love #genderfluid #LGBTQ #LGBTpride #LGBTcommunity #LGBTQIA #pansexual #nonbinary #queerA Loose Woman Speaks
You know me. You always find me at the crossroads. Smoldering sweetness. Transient memory. Dark benevolence.
I have burned with you in the fires; I have resurrected you from the despair. I've held your hand in the depths of your darkness. I've given you light to lift you. I've been here each time you've prayed out loud or cried silently.
Sweet and bold. Powerful and quiet. I will never leave you, my Love.
Blissful and melancholy. Radiant and cursed. Sensual and familiar. Rough and blessed. Vibrant and smooth. I embrace your duality and all the space in between.
Strike at the soul and be consumed within these flames.
Floating thoughts
Common tags
adventures articles BDSM/Kink Bella Peligrosa BellaRosa big topics Body Image boundaries career character confidence D/s Dark Goddess dating Dreams goddess gratitude inspiration lessons learned Liberation marriage MP online personal photos policy poly Real Life respect Sex sex positive sexual healing sexuality shaming society Spirituality the past the Queen The Tower wishesFollow along
My Tweets
Leave a comment
Comments 0