At some point I’ll talk more about why I feel called to a life as a sexual healer, a sacred prostitute, but it’s almost too close to talk about right now. Today has seen me providing healing to more than a few people in my life today. And while normally it is not a draining experience, I think because I’ve been feeling off for the past week or so, it does get to me a little more than it normally would.
Over the past few months I’ve been doing a much better job of enforcing boundaries. One of the people I responded to today was someone who was literally seeking my skills and expertise as a sacred prostitute/healer. This is probably the first time that’s happened for me. Normally, I’ve encountered people in my life and made an offer. No strings attached. No pressure…but a way for them to encounter themselves in a safe and supportive way. But today it was someone asking whether I can provide that healing to them. I’ll be honest, I was tempted. Incredibly tempted to say, “Sure! I can help you.” I stopped myself though. While the ego blast was certainly nice to have, it wasn’t the right situation for me. What this person needed was a little more…vanilla…than I’m able to provide. I didn’t trust my own ability to hold back the kind of intensity that I bring to a situation, much less a healing situation. This situation just wasn’t right for that. I was proud of holding tight to my boundaries.
Boundaries tend to serve both parties. And today it helped this person find the resources and healers they need. And today it helped me from spending more energy than I had and overcommitting myself. Small victories.