I think I’m still recovering from the weekend! Right before the solar eclipse/new moon in Sagittarius, there was one last squeeze on our system, one last reminder of what we really needed to leave behind. If things felt dissonant and off it’s because we’ve outgrown some parts of ourselves that are ready to let go, ready to disengage from the costumes we’ve worn in the past. Many of us were struggling, but it was because we finally realized we can’t keep going on like we had before.
For me, that was finally confronting the reasons why I’ve been so reluctant to date. I mean, I’ve been polyamorous since 2004 but the same trauma stories converged to make dating feel utterly unsafe for me. It wasn’t even the people I dated, it was what I felt was a lack of maturity on my part. Each time I hurt or disappointed someone (usually by being unavailable) I took myself down a peg or three.
Likewise, as a consent educator and disability/homelessness advocate, I was wading through trauma every day. And my own was getting triggered left and right, particularly by #MeToo, which is when I started having deep questions about what I even liked sexually anymore. Combine that with some very unhealthy vanilla messaging that has been lobbed at my sexuality since I was just a young parent, I was entirely disengaged and frankly unable to hold up my end of a relationship with pretty much anyone, even colleagues. I just couldn’t be around people anymore, not without falling apart at the seams.
I’ve done a lot of healing much of which started with the eclipse that started this season in June of 2020. And what a wild roller coaster ride it has been. Sagittarius loves radical truth-telling and Gemini plays with duality/polarity (last week’s themes). And this season of eclipses along the Sagittarius-Gemini axis has been particularly transformative and illuminating. Not only did I entirely leave the practice law during this time, but I have also stepped more readily into a more spiritually-centered place where I can share my ideas much more freely. But it also means I have to put away my self-punishment and actually get out there and practice connecting with others on the soul level that I love the most.
It’s time to finally be who I’ve always been meant to be.
This means that I needed to let go of the self-punishment and deprivation I’ve enforced with myself and allow myself to finally date again. I need to truly eliminate the cages I’ve placed around myself. And by a weird twist of fate, I have three dates arranged this week: one with a former play partner from 2007 (!), a playdate with a rope master, and another with a potential male submissive. And like magic, another former partner also randomly arrived back into my life today in a very affirming and positive way.
We are finally going to get a glimpse of the new world we’re creating – one where our intentions are supported and we no longer have to carry the yoke of shame around as punishment. And to do that, I went back to the very first deck I’ve ever owned, one that really embraces both the innocence of the past and the integrity of the future. If you’re new to tarot I highly recommend the Hansen-Roberts version as a starter deck.
See more below…
Where we are this week
Nine of Swords (R)
After all the terrors of the past, after all the nightmares, all the confrontations with the devil within, we’ve been in a self-protective mode, always expecting the worst. However, we start this week finally able to catch our breath a little bit. The nightmares are fading, the squeeze on our souls is finally letting up a bit. We might even be able to enjoy this holiday season! We can let go of some of the apprehension, for the time of crisis is coming to an end and we’ll finally be able to focus on something else for a while.
Time to Exhale
Messages from our Guides
We have a choice with our nature. We could go with the flow of where the universe is taking us or we could choose to resist – to be like a stone wall trying to hold back the force of the sea. But eventually, nature will win. Eventually, nature will force change upon us. Normally, we would see these themes with the Tower card, but here, it is with this danger who flows harmoniously with water life around her. Reversed, our guides are telling us, “That which does not bend, will eventually break.” Does it take hurricane-force rains for us to finally surrender to the call of our higher nature?
Address the Mother Wound
On a personal note, this is also an acknowledgment from one of my own guides, a shaman who shared the last year of his life lifting me up and helping me to shed the uncertainty that was infecting me. He always called me Empress, so this is a message to me to stop fighting my own nature and to let go of the wounding I keep inflicting on myself. So grateful to you, Tio Antonio.
Messages from Lady Gaia
This is a fabulous confirmation from Mother Earth about our chosen path. Many of us have initiated efforts or planted ideas about the sustainability of our physical selves. We have made choices about our health, we have made plans to decrease our carbon footprint, we’ve aligned ourselves more with the natural rhythms of the earth. No matter what we chose, this is a time for us to take action with full steam ahead. We are in control over our own destiny so long as we don’t get too overconfident. But here, taking actionable steps toward a longer-term goal of balance with our fellow human beings and our planet, are particularly blessed right now.
Full steam ahead.
Messages from our Ancestors
The ancestors who choose to show up to my readings aren’t without their sense of humor. Here they’re literally telling us to let the past die already. They made mistakes, we know this, but if we don’t learn from them, then we’re just replaying the past without ever getting closer to different results. What are the choices we need to avoid in the future? Why are we so resistant to transformation? It’s time to let go and finally step into a future we can shape into something better.
Allow the past to die.
Messages from our Future Selves
eight of Swords
This card looks like helplessness – a woman bound, blindfolded, surrounded by swords on all sides. And yet, this is the illusion. Our future selves are warning us not to get too caught up in the overthinking that we disempower and restrain ourselves from taking decisive action. In particular, we need to trust our own selves more than the opinions of others here. For it’s when others chime in and ‘should’ all over us, that we begin questioning and doubting ourselves. We have the keys to set ourselves free. Avoid the well-worn grooves of shame, guilt, learned helplessness, and pointless defiance. We can and will rescue ourselves (which, yes, includes getting vaccinated!)
Beware of overthinking.
Message from Mother Mary
The Hanged Man
There is a big space between letting go of the old world and reaching the new. The opportunity that we have to bridge this divide, what this card is all about, is to embrace new perspectives. To suspend our disbelief for just a little bit and try some other ideas on for size. Recognize that we don’t have all the answers and so some intentional shifting of perspectives could be exactly what we need to avoid the overthinking we actually want. Especially if we feel like we’re banging our head against the wall on an issue, try turning it around, shifting the factors to see it from a new angle (pssst….this often includes seeing yourself through someone else’s point of view – never easy, but soooo worth it!)
Suspension of disbelief.
Knight of Pentacles
The knight cards are all about useful, bold action. And here, the knight of pentacles, symbolizing the element of earth, is volunteering to help us get started on the projects that we’ve identified Lady Gaia. He assures us that we have everything we need for him to help us execute our plans. Take the next bold step in making our dreams come true, for with the Knight of Pentacles on our side, our success is assured.
Success favors the bold.
Our True North is shifting into place..
We are the authority of our own lives.
Consider who we were just five years ago. What were the challenges we were having? What choices did we think were unavailable to us before? What was the starry-eyed belief you used to guide your decisions? Because we have been challenged to transform our way of life, our sense of self, our dreams for the future, we shift our gaze from what was once our “true north” to a new star, a new destination, a new impossible adventure. So this week, the undercurrent is a little weightless. We feel like we might be flying without a net. But in reality, we’re owning that we are now the sovereigns of our own domains. We can make the rules, we can make our own choices and we can become whoever it is that we want to become. When we are unrestrained and back into the flow of our wildly cosmic selves, we can be anything we set our mind to.
May we appreciate and enjoy the blessed relief from the constancy of the nightmares that have engulfed our world. Allow us the time to breathe in confidence to take bold action toward the fulfillment of the destiny that we have chosen for ourselves. May we have faith in ourselves and in one another so that we can lovingly heal the wounds to the divine feminine, releasing ourselves from the wounds that have made us feel unloved. May we remember and celebrate our transformation by joyfully engaging with new insights.
I am with you always in love 💖
So may it be.
I offer A VARIETY OF READINGS & REIKI SESSIONS that can:
- Reboot relationship(s)
- Check-in with the body’s chakras
- Uncover hidden talent & treasure
- Clear emotional blockages
- Channel messages of Divine Love
- Step up as a leader
- Harmonize past lives