Taking the risk
This past week I gave notice at my job. I had intended to be better prepared, better settled before doing that. But you know, I think that when you are taking a risk on your own happiness, your own life, there is no amount of preparation that is possible.
See, my dream is to work for myself. Simply put. I can’t stand having people look over my shoulder critiquing every last thing I do. I can’t stand having my day to day so scrutinized and judged by co-workers. But more than anything I don’t think there is a job out there that will make me happy. The only job that can make me happy is the one I create for myself. The one where I am a consultant and private practitioner of the trades I know best. And truth be told, I know quite a bit. Even though my resume reads like a 14 year old who can’t figure out what she wants out of life, I have a great deal of experience that delves deep for short periods of time and I have the ability to learn new skills quite quickly.
But I’ve never been known for doing things the easy way…or even the conventional way. Clawing my way to the top stopped being interesting during grad school. I don’t have dreams of being successful in any of the socio-normative senses, but in being discerning as a leader and a community wise woman. That is my picture of success. And most people can’t seem to make the two jive together in their pre-ordered little career centers.
I am a wise woman. I am a woman of thoughtful action and wise counsel. I am a woman who touches lives and make differences for people. And honestly, it is time I find a way to be able to support my family with those talents. And until we find a way as a culture to reward compassion, depth and wisdom, I will have to make my own way.
Here is to releasing the familiar.