One thing that I have found as I’ve aged and particularly as I become more attuned to my energy and others’ through reiki, is that I’m more sensitive to the fun, cosmic events that impact us – like a partial eclipse this past weekend. Most times it’s just a new flavor to the wind or the sense of foreboding in the heart. But this past week it was gut-wrenching, heart-opening truths delivered with a clue-by-four to the head.
Here I was, all ready to celebrate Beltane with my loves. Ready to embrace that energy of divine union I talk so much about (and is kind of an important part of my book). Instead, I found myself challenged by runaway thoughts that led me straight to the memories and realizations about my childhood that I most needed to resolve.
I had to see how much six-year-old me learned how to push her own feelings aside in order to be there for others, to keep others together when the crusades of life were tearing us apart. I recognized how patterns of perfectionism were modeled despite lip service to the contrary. I learned to judge people by their actions, not their words – which is why perhaps I crave words of affirmation and touch as a love language. I love people who are consistent between word and deed and who reach out to provide affection and support when I need it most.
While I had originally been invited to be part of a friend’s birthday celebration that day as I sat sobbing in my partner’s arms on my bed, I knew that self-care required that I sit with the feelings that were bubbling up instead of suppressing them to be in a good mood for celebrating. And when I made that choice to sit with the lessons and realizations, I could feel a tight cord wrapped around my heart finally start to loosen. I could finally feel all of the wounds releasing all at once, spilling over my whole body, loosening the grip of overthinking and perfectionism that had been taunting me my whole life. Finally! I have a path forward.
I chose the Osho Zen Tarot deck this week because it always is a great place for a cosmic reset – which is what I feel this new moon is finally bringing us – a chance to reset and recognize what’s actually important versus what we’re set up to defend as important. More than anything, we’re being invited to resolve the inner conflict within ourselves – one driven by the confinement and restraint of the divine feminine. Now is the time to unleash ourselves to experience what balance can finally look like.
See more below…
Where we are this week
Guidance – 3 of Rainbows
In other decks, this would be the three of pentacles which is usually the mastery card, involving some sort of recognition and harnessing of our talents into a useful contribution we can make to society. But here, I see inspiration – the muse luring us into the work, the vocation that will best utilize our talents. We are in a position this week to let the spirits guide us on our next steps. We’ve seen some small manifestations and openings that give us promise for more. This week in particular we need to trust the guidance we are given even if it doesn’t immediately make sense. For when we are honing the rawness of our talents into something more meaningful, something that has never existed before. Trust the muse and where she guides us this week.
Follow the Muse.
Messages from our Guides
The Outsider (R) – 5 of Rainbows
So many are convinced of their righteousness when they profess that they’re fighting for the liberation of others. And yet, how many of them are acting as gatekeepers to the information? For the low price of $999 you too can experience the goddess up close that can only be accessed through that one person that one time only. Never mind that the goddess in all her mystical and unknowable forms visits us each and every day for free in our hearts when we’re looking for her. When we are activated, traumatized, and feeling alone, we often react to messages that bear a false sense of urgency. ACT NOW! Instead, use the experience of having been on the outside looking in to see through the false gates and invisible requirements that others attach to make their product or service “superior” to others. Take a deep breath and remember the value of your own intuition before reacting to some guru’s latest marketing pitch.
False profits guard imaginary gates.
Messages from Lady Gaia
When we are at peace with ourselves, we find we are able to inhabit the world with more peace as well. When we resolve the inner conflicts between what we want vs. what is, when we find beauty even in the mistakes of our lives, we are able to let go and just be. The Master doesn’t seek to control others, but to be in control of himself. He doesn’t contrive opportunities for him to lead, but rather shares openly with all who enter his orbit. She recognizes her own energy and allows others to contribute to it as well. They share what they know and soak in the new knowledge offered to them. Channel this energy as we reenergize our roles in the physical world – both in our relationship with nature but also in our physical relationships with one another at work and in play.
True mastery in the present moment.
Messages from our Ancestors
Mind (R) – Page of Clouds
We have forgotten that we have more control over our minds than they do over us. Our ancestors have felt the fears and insecurities that we have. They have seen where our assumptions and overthinking can drive us to obsession, burrow us into irrational fears, and inhibit us from seeing the truth of ourselves or our situation. Here, our ancestors gently but firmly remind us to get out of our own heads a bit. To stop repeating the same stories and instead listen to the goodness of the hearts that surround us. Ground ourselves back into our bodies and physical presence to regain control over those big, beautiful brains of ours.
Overthinking sets our brains on fire.
Messages from our Future Selves
Creativity – The Empress
This card can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. For me, someone who identifies as an Empress, I see myself and my calling. Me of the present fully inspired and alive in all her glory in the future. I see promises fulfilled, abundance for all that I love, and the happy fulfillment of my calling, not reaching out for more, but reaching to connect to our highest and deepest realms of the soul. And here, in this reading this week for the rest of us, I see this as the creative force emerging from us that will bring us to our highest and greatest selves. What have we been called to create on this earth? What can we contribute that will allow us to shine our brightest and help others do the same? Our future selves assure us that the Divine Feminine – a balance is coming. We just need to reach out to connect to what we are being called to create.
What have we been called to create?
Message from Mother Mary
Morality – Queen of Clouds
The Mother Mary that has been guiding me since childhood is perhaps not the same as most might recognize her. Mary has always been a champion of the divine feminine in my life, leading me to explore other facets of the goddess-like Kali, Morrigan, Tonanzin, and Innana, all of whom I feel a kinship. She led me to polyamory. She gave me the means to live out my calling in some of the most intimate and private of ways. She soothed my self-judgment and helped me pick up the pieces from the days it was just too much. She taught me how to break through the false gates and barriers that try to cage the goddess in my life – and Mary is now calling us to teach one other how to break through these barriers that have caged, contained, and forcibly restrained the goddess from our lives. Old beliefs about the meekness of femininity inspire lopsided moralities that keep us from knowing this part of ourselves. Now is the time to break free and build a world of equality.
Uncage the Goddess
Undercurrents & Final advice
PArticipation – 4 of Fire
Be a part of life
The Rebel – the Emperor
True leaders break chains of hardship
It’s understandable that we’ve been reluctant to participate in life over the past two years because of the pandemic. But now more than ever we need a chance to come together as a community, as families, as friends, and colleagues to bear witness to the changes within all of us. We still need to be mindful of distance and keeping one another safe, but that doesn’t mean we have to cut ourselves off from everyone. Bear witness for others about how life has changed for them and share the ways it’s changed for you. This authentic recognition of one another’s transformation helps us feel better connected and supported, crucial building blocks for a better world.
There is a simple belief at the core of my business, Rose Connections: We are all called to be leaders. And here, just like the Empress who showed up with our future selves, this card talks of Rebel who brings balance, liberation, and true freedom. It isn’t about who is in front taking the credit, but rather who was holding a light when things got dark. Who held the torch high enough for others to see their own path? Who broke the chains so others could realize their own potential? Each of us has that opportunity to embody the divine masculine in this way – to rule with the divine feminine by lighting the way and breaking through the chains and barriers that prevent us from experiencing that divine union in our world.
May the energy of this new moon eclipse in Taurus illuminate the ways in which we’ve needlessly constrained ourselves from our true voice and our true calling. May we delight in following the muse wherever she might lead, to unlock our creative force and leadership to unleash the goddess so that we all might experience the balance of sharing in the mastery of oneness.
I am with you always in love 💖
So may it be.
Specializing in readings for LGBTQ+, non-monogamous and “it’s complicated” situations
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com
I offer A VARIETY OF READINGS & REIKI SESSIONS including:
- Reboot relationship(s)
- Check-in with the body’s chakras
- Uncover hidden talent & treasure
- Clear emotional blockages
- Channel messages of Divine Love
- Step up as a leader
- Harmonize past lives