Messages of Divine Love (9/12/22): Worth doesn’t require risk

Thank you all for your patience last week. I hate it enough when I miss a deadline; I hate it more when I miss it due to my own emotions. But even before Mercury retrograde started it was cautioning me to both slow down and reevaluate the purity of my motives before acting. Considering that it thwarted me for three full days in trying to make last week’s Messages of Divine Love post, I really needed to take a step back before putting my foot in my mouth. (Click here to see what I said about it on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CiN8JfFjt9p/)

If you’ve been here for a while you know that I’ve struggled with self-worth for much of my life. Perhaps because I’ve always lived at the intersections of multiple identities and communities, the prevailing message in my life was that I had to prove my worth. Prove my intelligence, prove my compassion, prove my sexiness, prove my humanity, prove my rationality, prove my eager innocence or seductive guilt. Unknown and untested, I was hungry to prove myself and earn the appreciation that was missing from my own heart.

Gotta tell ya, now that I’m in my forties, nothing is more tedious and insulting than having to prove myself to each new person who comes my way. I’m just not interested in justifying why I chose to do something the way I did. Can we accept that after thirty years of experience with my calling and over twenty in public policy, law, and conflict resolution, I know a few things? And once I saw the superficial, capitalistic, patriarchal, colonizer game that is being played with the literal lives I was representing, the people already at the end of their rope, I also started to see the idea of scrambling to receive the appreciation of others as a waste of my time and talent.

I catch myself overexplaining here all the time. That need to be “understood” is so driven by a sad inner child who was isolated by how my ADHD handled criticism. So I find myself overachieving in my transparency about my process. I’m not doing it because it’s trauma-informed or the right way to share my talent, but because I’m still chasing the approval of others, waiting for others to tell me I’m worthy of sharing my talent and my message. So long as I’m seeking the approval of those higher than me in the pecking order, I will never truly be seen for who I am or what I bring to the world. Instead of sacrificing myself over and over to the altar of someone else’s acceptance, I need to provide that approval for myself.

That’s what last week’s comedy of failures taught me. I could have beat myself up for not measuring up to other tarot/oracle readers; but instead, I gave myself space for forgiveness and compassionate insight. And it made all the difference. It made criticism easier to handle and made difficult discussions more apt to resolve. But most of all, it forced me to slow down and focus on myself, recognize and wrestle with my own anger and bias – a great theme for this Mercury Retrograde.

This week I worked with the Psychic tarot, the deck I use for my own weekly chakra readings. We start off this week with declarations of our worthiness – how deserving of love we are. But we also end it with reminders not to take unnecessary risks, especially just to prove our worth. Don’t go out on a limb to satisfy someone else’s vision of who we should be, instead, step up as the sovereign “we” to find ourselves worthy of the love we seek.

See more below…

Where we are this week

Harmony

Lovers

One of the things I love about the Lovers card isn’t just the romantic nature of our love with another (or in my case, many others), but the way it tells us more about the acceptance of our own selves. Coming right after the Hierophant, or Authority card, the Lovers tell us that we’re in a place of oneness within ourselves, wholly able to accept and embrace another’s wholeness. Here, we are starting our week from a place of worthiness – not because of what others see in us, but because of the acceptance and love, we’ve offered ourselves. We are precisely where we need to be right now, a place of perfect acceptance and deservingness – because, despite everything, we’ve finally chosen ourselves, which is true liberation.

Yes, we are worthy!

Messages from our Guides

Spiritual Strength

9 of Wands

Despite what it might seem, we actually do have what it takes to succeed. Everything that we’ve been through over the past few months has been strengthening us for the road ahead. We have done the heavy lifting required for us to be ready to lead in the near(ish) future. We now have the strength, skill, discipline, and resolve to make our dreams come true – for the whole of the earth. Because for all that we’ve been through, there are some who are only now starting this same journey. Put what we’ve learned to good use by becoming guides for others. We are proof that the struggles will all be worth it.

The required strength to lead.

Messages from Lady Gaia

Foundations & Achievements

Four of Wands

Two weeks ago we had the same card in the exact same position. I said, “We really have so much to celebrate and be grateful for. As we continue to live through a pandemic, Mother Earth is reminding us to take some time to truly live in celebration with each other.” This week she is reminding us that not only do we have much to be grateful for, but we’ve also laid the foundations of an entirely new legacy for us, for our children, and for our world. Yes, we aren’t seeing the effects, but many intuitive, myself included, have felt this shift coming for some time. More and more people are tearing down old structures and rebuilding their lives with increased clarity, decreased colonialism, and more empathy. Support those who are doing the same – we all can build a better world, but we also need to take the time to celebrate how far we’ve come.

The foundations of our legacy.

Messages from our Ancestors

Discontent & Boredom

Four of Cups

There is much about the current world that makes us want to check out and leave. We’re waiting either for a US civil war or for some miracle of deliverance to come to save us all. But just because there isn’t some drama to hold our news cycle right now isn’t a reason to go out looking for trouble. Some of us are apt to let our boredom coerce us into borrowing trouble either by caring too much about what others are doing with their own lives or by making mountain what-if scenarios out of speed bumps. Others get upset at the lack of progress and stir up discontent to force the issue. Healing isn’t a “hurry up and get it over with” process. Recognize when we’re adding drama to the party just to avoid sitting with our own selves.

Don’t let restlessness inspire abandonment.

Messages from our Future Selves

Universe (r)

Yup, it’s not going to be perfect. That one relationship may not have worked out; that one job might not be as flexible as we wanted. Growth is painful AF. It leaves us feeling lopsided and awkward in our own skin. But that’s because it’s a process. We haven’t come to a stage of completion yet. We’re still in the puberty of our spiritual growth right now. We’re awkward and feel like ugly ducklings amongst swans. It isn’t pretty, but compared to where we were it is so much closer to our ideal selves than we could have imagined even three years ago. Don’t use the imperfections of where we are right now to reinforce stories of our unworthiness. The growth we’ve experienced is exponential and significant, but it ain’t over yet. This is but a resting place, the real destination lies ahead.

Imperfect happiness is still happiness.

Mother Mary

Light

The Sun

Mother Mary provides us with hope, reminding us that we don’t need anyone else’s permission to shine. We were born to be bright, cosmic reflections of oneness in our world – it’s not our fault if people have been too used to darkness to tolerate our light. Instead of abandoning the cause just because it isn’t progressing in the timeframe, we could instead shine brighter so those who most need our message, and our inspiration will see our light. Shine brighter so we reach those seeds of authenticity that were planted long ago – finally triggering the growth that person needed. The time of toning ourselves down to fit in is melting away like a snowman in summer. Shine bright, my glittering, shimmering friends. The more you shine the more all others can too.

We don’t need permission to shine.

Undercurrents & Final advice

New Beginnings (R)

The Fool (R)
Exercise the Prudent Person standard

Temptation (R)

The Devil (R)
Don’t borrow trouble.

The Fool here honestly surprised me. Given all the messages of shining worth and deservingness above, I wouldn’t have expected to see this caution sign. And then I remembered all the trouble I had with last week’s post just days before Mercury Retrograde even started and woo boy, it made a lot more sense. This season is unusually disruptive. We’re more prone to conflict over details and communications. We’re still feeling the Full Moon in Pisces influence, so we’re also still prone to impulsive flights of fancy – like quitting our day job to become a massage therapist without a stitch of savings or realistic idea of the cost of training and licensing. This is a caution that the undercurrents right now do not favor risk takers who embark without a reason, a purpose, or a detailed plan – even then it’s not likely to go well. Remember – we don’t have anything to prove. If it seems like a good idea now, it will be an even better idea three weeks from now when we’ve had time to at least research the landscape of our new direction. Ask yourself “What would a reasonably prudent person do?” to keep yourself in check this week.

We also might need to check our motives this week. Are we doing things for the right reasons or will our actions just bring us right back around to old patterns, addictions, and maladaptive coping that we thought we left behind? We’ll have to come face to face with the devil in ourselves this week. Don’t get drawn into old gossip or reckless arguments – both of which are operations of the ego instead of the heart. Recognize where we are our own worst enemy and remember to choose to love and accept others in the way we want to be loved and accepted by the world.

Blessing

Bless us as we experience the fullness of our own divine love this week. May we use our newfound spiritual strength to shine our light into the dark corners of the world, to give hope and emotional nourishment to those who still feel unworthy of their own acceptance. May we serve a model of hope, prudence and sincerity in the weeks and months to come.

I am with you always in love ๐Ÿ’–

So may it be.


Come learn how to use tarot as an emotional mirror๐Ÿชža time-traveling companionโŒš and a loving guide for the present ๐Ÿ˜ in this monthly 90 min workshop โœจ

โ€œWe can predict the future, when we know how the present moment evolved from the past.โ€

Carl Jung

What you can expect

We’ll start with analyzing a few cards together to warm up our intuitive muscles ๐Ÿ‹๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธ before exploring some common themes and practicing interpreting cards through new spreads each month.

The class is limited to 20 participants.

No Experience Necessary! Just bring an open mind & an open heart.

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Can’t wait to see you in class!

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