This section is going to be blessedly short – because this Mercury Retrograde has given me one problem after another. From missed connections with clients, miscommunications with friends, festering family wounds, and internet outages. Nothing really feels as safe as it could right now.
I think that’s what a lot of us are feeling right now. With multiple planets in retrograde, astrologers have been warning for a while that this would be a time of great disruption – all of it necessary and transformative, but that doesn’t make it any easier to live through, does it?
Energetically, I feel the weight of the world. Plans are falling through and all we want is to reach for our creature comforts (a very Libra vibe) to anchor us into something safe and familiar. Each day arrives with a new, torturous peril, leaving us unsure of our own judgment and experience even. What is old trauma is what is a reaction to a traumatic world that just won’t stop?
Well, this week has scratched the surface of some very sensitive wounds I have around the idea of family. The third death in the family this year has us feeling raw. My grandma doesn’t recognize her daughters anymore (but she still knows me) and is hallucinating about the death of everyone else. I uncovered ancestral wounding around funding our impossible dreams and repressed anger at others who didn’t protect me when they could. The pain that is bubbling to the surface threatens to drown all that I’ve worked so hard for. but if I allow myself to just feel my emotions, then I find that I’m better able to retain my hard work, while letting my tears wash away my attachment to all that pain.
I know I am not alone in feeling that way. So this week I chose the Dreams of Gaia deck, which in particular helps me tune into the emotional feelings of my fellow residents of Earth, sort of like a mycelial mushroom network briefing from all over the earth. And really, we see a lot reflected here that resonates with all I’ve been seeing and feeling. Let this be the reassurance you need that you’re NOT ALONE in what you’re feeling, even if it’s elation. Because all of this releasing is for a purpose, allowing us to move forward with our best lives. It just sucks that it’s in this form of a societal fire hose than the more manageable decorative water fountain.
See more below…
Where we are this week
Seven of Earth (R)
We’ve been obsessing over the details, borrowing trouble to give us more things to worry about. The deck this week acknowledges that a) we’re dealing with root chakra issues (the root chakra is at the top while the crown chakra is stretching into the earth) and b) we are finding new dimensions of our lives that give ground-breaking insight into our lives. But we’ve become so obsessed with those detailed dimensions of past lives, ancestral healing, listening to every gurus and Instagram therapist who gives us conflicting advice. We’re missing the adivce that we need the most: our own wisdom. We are running around with our hair on fire, so triggered by the disrupted stagnation of the energy around us, that we don’t trust our own judgment anymore and have activated our flight response – impulsively throwing us into busy distraction rather than centered inner authority. We are running around in crisis because healing and releasing brings up all the old patterns of our old lives.
Hair on Fire
Messages from our Guides
Queen of Water
Last week we had the High Priestess in this position Here, we are challenged to value emotional honesty over stoic integrity. This is not the time for detachment, but rather to engage in the strength of this queen who confronts her emotions, not to master them, but to understand them and ultimately release them. The queen of cups knows that emotional maturity means finding our comfort with vulnerability. So, the message here is much the same as last week’s message: “Listen with our intuitive wisdom”, for the alignment is to open ourselves to the gifts of the Divine Feminine in processing all the grief, anger, disappointment, hurt, happiness, joy and elation we really feel.
Prioritize emotional honesty.
So….a curious thing happened as I was doing the invocation and blessing for this reading: I was told to pull an extra card from Mother Earth. Whether it’s because this deck has an uncanny connection to Mother Earth for me or whether it was the consecration of a deeper message, I was asked to pull a card (6 of Air) for her to speak before laying down any of the others. This wasn’t just an extra card, this was a deliberate statement.
Messages from Lady Gaia
Abundance (R) vs. Six of Air
The card that was chosen for this main reading, Abundance reversed, is an indication of how ungrateful we’ve been. she’s not quite scolding us or guilting us, but showing us the immense abundance offered to us. But we’ve been rejecting it because it doesn’t show up the way that we want it to. Just because it isn’t gold plated or carries an exclusive label, doesn’t make it worthless. And just because we don’t have as much of a thing as someone else doesn’t mean we’re deprived. See all that the world is offering us in order to meet our needs – including, yes, help from others. All help is worth having.
All of this is to say that the Earth wants to see us win, but we have got to be willing to make some compromises to move forward. We cannot continue to carelessly discard every piece of trash, pretending like we don’t know where it goes. We’re in a state of radical honesty, when we have to realize that we don’t have the advantage in this negotiation – the earth will die and take us with her if we don’t give up some of our bargaining chips with her. She is signaling that our hard-headedness will be our ultimate demise. We have to stop resisting this message – she wants to be the wind at our back as we carry her into the future. but we have to be willing to work with her instead of against her.
See all that is offered and be grateful.
Are we negotiating in good faith?
Messages from our Ancestors
This equinox has demonstrated that there is a fundamental imbalance in our conceptualization of divinity vs humanity or heaven vs earth. In so many of our faiths, we have a superior god dictating terms to humanity, the slovenly, sinful weaklings under their command. We are conditioned to view our human existence as the practice round, a necessary evil in order to reach this promised land of our highest selves. the divine is pristine and perfect; we are dirty and flawed. But this card is showing us that the duality we’ve created between humanity and divinity is a false dichotomy, there is less separation between the divine and human than we think. We all have some divinity within us and our conception of divinity will always have some thread fo humanity sewn in to remain a plush, familiar reminder of these roles we choose. What messages or mottos from our families reinforced this paradigm?
We are divine beings having a human existence.
Messages from our Future Selves
Three of Earth (R)
Be careful about the seeds we are planting right now. We just got done with a new moon where we wrote out new intentions, and offered new seeds to feed our dreams for the months to come. However, our future selves warn that we might have sown some seeds of discord, borne from sour grapes, some thorn bushes of protection – all of which show us where we still need to tend to old wounds. In a few months when these intentions start to really sprout, don’t be afraid to prune back what will no longer nourish you like gossip, projected anger, or hopeless cynicism. Poinous seeds planted during this time will turn on us later – practice discernment and don’t get overconfident.
Avoid planting poisonous seeds.
Seriously, she had to choose a card wtih a spider on it? 😱😓 But this is the perfect card to depict the dark goddess and her gifts of intuition. During the dark moon, when all is still and the reflected sunlight doesn’t illuminate our path, we must move forward with trust, with memory, with intuition. But we’ve been taught to distrust our intuition, that it isn’t objective enough to be trusted. But just like a mother’s intuition isn’t always based on objective fact, but instead a “feeling” that we can’t perceive or even fully validate, it doesn’t mean it hasn’t saved countless lives. Intutiion is our birthright as a peoeple and Mary offers her assistance in atuning our intuiton to the right frequencies of growth.
Developing our intuition is an essential step in the journey ahead.
Undercurrents & Final advice
Eight of Air (R)
Is that really how it happened?
We are destined to love ourselves as we love others.
Whenever I hear “my mom beat me and I turned out fine” my heart swells with pity for the inner child that needs an adult to speak up in that moment. How often have we unquestioninably accepted the narratives spun by abusers and manipulators so that we would never hold them accountable for their cruelty? How much did we swallow our own confusion as kids, interpeting events in one perspective while never truly seeing any other. this week, be careful about the memories we rely on. Are they complete memories or only fragments that our brains have redacted for our protection? This isn’t a signal to delve into that work whole heartedly (inadviseable in a retrograde season like this anyway), but to start logging which memories might deserve another look. In particular look at those we have demonized versus those we’ve deified as heroes of our narative. This will not be an easy look, which is why it is only about identifying, not yet processing.
I am an extraordinarily big fan of the Golden Rule: Love other as you love yourself. But what if, like me, you’ve had difficulty loving yourself with even a fraction of the fervor that I love others. And while I reject the notion that we cannot love others before we love ourselves, Love is not dependent on the achievement of perfection, but rather, the effort of connection. Our partners and family aren’t perfect, but we love them anyway. And maybe that’s what the Golden Rule was really about – Love ourselves as we love others – accept that we aren’t perfect, but love ourselves anyway, even if it’s only one thing we can love right now. The more we make space in our lives to love ourselves, the more love we generate to bestow on others. Quell the forest fire of distracting self-doubt and allow ourselves to be loved in the same ways we love.
Although we have been feeling pressure, we trust in the plans the universe has for us. We open ourselves to emotional honesty, sharing our hearts wtih depth and hope, as we lovingly accept the truth that others share wtih us. We choose to become Earth’s co-conspirators in this fight for her life. We repair our broken divinity through embracing our mortal reality. May we find nothing but love for ourselves and others, offering gentle reprieve as the energies unwind and we find our hearts alight with purpose once again.
I am with you always in love 💖
So may it be.
Tarot for Transformation (monthly)
Come learn how to use tarot as an emotional mirror🪞a time-traveling companion⌚ and a loving guide for the present 😍 in this monthly 90 min workshop ✨
“We can predict the future, when we know how the present moment evolved from the past.”Carl Jung
What you can expect
We’ll start with analyzing a few cards together to warm up our intuitive muscles 🏋️♀️ before exploring some common themes and practicing interpreting cards through new spreads each month.
The class is limited to 20 participants.
No Experience Necessary! Just bring an open mind & an open heart.
- September (9/27) –
Suit of Swords/Air
- October (10/25) –
Suit of Cups/Water
- November (11/29) –
Suit of Wands/Fire
- December (12/27) – Suit of Coins/Earth
Can’t wait to see you in class!