One thing we often don’t discuss is how healing doesn’t always mean that were walking around in rainbows and sunshine afterward. Healing often leads to a host of other consequences. It’s dirty, it’s ugly, and it almost certainly never happens on our timeline. Likewise, when we’re healing, we end up uncovering even more things that need to be addressed. There is almost a disincentive to continue because we’re still so exhausted from the last go around – “now you want me to do even more?” 😟
Likewise, our healing often means that those who once relied on our smallness, our guilt, and our neuroses are now left exposed. The indecision and insecurity they used as a cover is no longer available. So, it’s no wonder that healing often comes with the attendant consequences of dominoes falling all around us. We see relationships begin to crumble Friendships start to drift into insult and injury. We find we can no longer tolerate people who were invested in our inferiority. And damn, that realization hurts.
Yet, there is value to the pain of these natural and foreseeable consequences of our healing. We know it will unearth all the ways in which we made ourselves blind to the injustices and empty comforts we once immersed ourselves in. When we recognize our own trauma, we realize how we were denying it in others – for accepting someone’s story, necessarily means we have to explain why we aren’t accepting our own. We know that this pain, that enlightenment of perspective creates an entry point to experience a deeper experience of compassion. Once we see the illusions, it is so much easier to understand how easily others are still enchanted by them.
It is probably one of the biggest reasons why people avoid shattering those illusions. The pain of that growth is nothing to romanticize for once you peel back one layer you start to all how many there really are. And the human brain can only process so much, so fast. And one of the lessons of our own healing is to simultaneously recognize how readily we judge or condemn others for not being as “ascended” as we are. “Slow your roll, Janet,” the universe says. Our willingness to dismiss others as weak, stupid, insane, or hateful, just reveals even deeper illusions of superiority, more healing work we need to do. For if we cannot have compassion for those just starting down a road we have already walked, then what use was that healing journey in the first place?
For example, some of the illusions we still have to collectively wrestle with is the cognitive dissonance required for both abundance and lack to exist simultaneously in our world. On the one hand, we collectively acquiesce to accepting a reality that allows people to starve as a matter of policy; yet, we also participate in food choices that significantly waste food and contribute to both that lack and ongoing environmental damage.
According to ReFED over 300 million pounds of food went un-eaten on Thanksgiving Day alone. Yet how many people wen turned away at food banks. How much does our regulatory scheme add new barriers to food access and food sovereignty? How do the diet industry opportunists and their messaging contribute to food waste? How many pounds of food will be wasted between now and January because some labeled as “good” rots in the fridge untouched, while food labeled as “bad” gets tossed out in a fit of condemnation to show allegiance to a weight loss goal? When did food stop becoming medicine for the soul of a community and instead became a commodity that must be earned with exercised restraint?
It may take generations to heal the wounds inflicted by these illusions, but we cannot let the fear of failure or the difficulty of the solution darken our faith. It may feel like a constancy of change, but growth always is. Just like when we were babies, we fell the first few times we tried to walk, it takes some time to adjust to these new realities to feel the ground stable under our feet. Until we prove to ourselves, not the universe, that we are past these patterns and illusions, we’ll continue seeing them in our field – an opportunity to explore the potency of our self-work.
And sometimes we succumb to that influence; we all do. Sometimes, we give in to the past lovers, the old overworking patterns, because there’s still more to uncover there. And guess what? If that happens to “ascended” people like you, then it happens to those we label as “stuck in their trauma” too. Take it from this straight-A student with undiagnosed ADHD the problem isn’t laziness or not trying hard enough, sometimes, that’s just how the brain works. There is nothing to judge for it is no weakness for a new skill or realization to take a few tries. A consequence of our healing is the acceptance that we all grow at our own rates and each has our own challenges. None of us is better than anyone else.
This week’s reading has so many reversals, l almost recast the spread, but the disjointed wisdom is presented without sugarcoating, Mother Earth in particular has something to say about the above food waste. Likewise, our future selves this week warn us of celebrating false victories. While we are eager to make the practical changes we want, we need to find an equilibrium among all of these consequences rippling out around us.
As we approach the dark months, may we use this time wisely to take stock to support our healing. We invoke the truth-tellers and rely on the change-makers to show us how we still cling to the shadows within. We ask for a blessing of compassion as we still feel reverberations of change happening throughout our lives. May we have faith in our transformative journey and create stability around us with the empathetic deconstruction of the illusions and dissonance that no longer serve us or humanity.
So may it be. I am with you always in love 💖
Where we are this week
Page of Pentacles
Think back to that first time we were really inspired in our work or home life. We felt like we had something to prove and we could track our tangible results from setting those goals. This week we embrace the energy of that prior self, the one full of pride and hope for a better world. We’re motivated similarly to prove our worth in this physical world. This is a go-getter spirit energetically capable of adding value to this world. When was the last time this was you?
Messages from our Guides
“However….” our guides say as we turn to them for wisdom. Here we see a surly, angry, paranoid pope. He’s abdicated his duties and instead is there to protect his power. So our guides are asking us to examine -why- we are so compelled to prove ourselves in a given situation. What is truly motivating us? Do we want someone’s approval? Have we been told we’ll burn in hell if we don’t comply? Are we soothing the ego of someone old enough to alleviate their own? Our guides have warned us that anyone demanding that we prove ourselves is only engaging in one of patriarchy’s oldest rigged games.
Messages from Lady Gaia
Knight of Cups (R)
Lady Gaia has been quite patient all this time, but for all that we talk a good game, how many of us put out extraordinary waste during our American Thanksgiving? Did we throw our food and plastic bottles of soda? Did we meet our goals of buying locally during Black Friday (I know I didn’t!) Mother Earth is blatantly telling us that she feels like we’ve dumped out all her gifts, and thrown them back in her face. Our thoughtless, ungrateful arrogance will eventually come back to haunt us. Beware of wasting her gifts. Make offerings to make amends.
Messages from our Ancestors
Three of Swords (R)
We’re all hurting right now. Relationships have broken apart. Family won’t talk to each other anymore. Play partners have hit one sour note after another. But believe it or not, this is our ultimate liberation. We are on the other side of that hurt and we’ll start seeing ourselves getting more potent, wiser, and more buoyant than we could have imagined at the start of this heartbreak. We had to endure this pain in order to break the harmful patterns for good.
Messages from our Future Selves
Seven of Wands (R)
As we have seen with Twitter, reliance on an old way of doing things – destroying until there is nothing left – will not actually solve our world’s problems. In fact, it only offers more of it. Here, the seven of wands warn us against chasing after victories out of ego. Our compulsion to win at all costs will not only ruin all that we think we’re fighting for but make us look like the desperate naked emperor who ever lived. Can we afford to bear the cost of all this winning?
Queen of Wands (r)
Again, I think Mary is having a bit of fun at my expense here. She knows how much I identify with the Queen of Wands, especially as a deeply femme Sagittarius woman. But here, reversed, she should mean deception, superficiality, and manipulating things behind the scenes. Yet, all I feel from this card is Dark Goddess vibes – reminding me of the role of the Dark Goddess in the dark night of the soul. the role she has in my own rituals I practice for the winter solstice (as well as my birthday). So here, Mary is invoking her own darkness, showing herself worthy of guiding us along the journey of this darkness this season.
Eight of Pentacles (R)
This card popped out just as I was shuffling and I think it’s a helpful reminder this holiday season. There is some area of our lives where we aren’t giving our full effort. Perhaps we’re silent quitting a job or our hobby has now turned into a small business slog, but something isn’t working. We aren’t working. We have gotten sloppy and careless in our approach, showing that what was once so important to us has lost our interest. Maybe it’s time to move on rather than leave a mess for others to clean up?
(The placement of this card is a happy accident. I pressed save before I realized it was upside down – but you can see the messiness I will describe even better).
Undercurrents & Final advice
Seven of Wands (R)
If we keep hanging on to these old grudges, we’ll drive ourselves into an early grave. No joke, this ise of the most important lessons we’ll have to learn during this time. Because our resentments in one area of our lives often translate into an irrational entitlement to our misery. So when we see our friends in a happy and successful life, our jealousy creates stories of hatred to hang onto, to darken our mood permanently. Yet, that same person is likely envious of our relationships or our close-knit family or our freedom. So this card warns against giving our life force to our jealousy and pettiness, pouring salt into an old wound over and over again. Life is too short to waste it like this.
Two of Pentacles (R)
Things are not working out right now because the cost of healing is a period of distraction and overwhelm. For healing to truly work in our lives, we have to uproot everything we think we want in order to suss out the patterns that have been keeping us stuck. That disrupts the careful balance in our world that our goals need in order to grow. Instead of doing cartwheels, holding his goals in balance, this card is losing control, trying to figure out his body again. We might not be truly starting from scratch, but we aren’t too far off.
If you want to connect with your intuition, I invite you to sign up for my upcoming class!
Come learn how to use tarot as an emotional mirror🪞a time-traveling companion⌚ and a loving guide for the present 😍 in this monthly 90 min workshop ✨
“We can predict the future, when we know how the present moment evolved from the past.”Carl Jung
What you can expect
We’ll start with analyzing a few cards together to warm up our intuitive muscles 🏋️♀️ before exploring some common themes and practicing interpreting cards through new spreads each month.
The class is limited to 20 participants.
No Experience Necessary! Just bring an open mind & an open heart.
- September (9/27) –
Suit of Swords/Air
- October (10/25) –
Suit of Cups/Water
- November (11/29) –
Suit of Wands/Fire
- December (12/27) – Suit of Coins/Earth
Can’t wait to see you in class!