April 1, 2024 / The Crow Tarot
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Intro Notes to the Deck & Reading
Thank you for your patience with the reading this week. As I was putting it together on Monday, I had noticed enough going on that I didn’t want it to get caught up in the fury of April Fools Day and Mercury Retrograde all at the same time. Especially given how strong the message of transformation is.
That we have had an intense few weeks isn’t lost on any of us. However, it isn’t because good things aren’t coming, it’s because we’re wrestling with our more mature, emotional selves. We want to hang on to the old excuses and excitements, but they just aren’t filling us the way we want them to…and the mature voice inside knows it.
That push and pull isn’t made any easier when the outside world keeps tempting us into submission. “Just lay down your weapons and get back into place in the machinery we built from your ancestors’ bones,” it says with honeyed affection, “we are inevitable.” Of course the “we” is the grooves of systems designed to keep us producing the same old problems over and over.
If you get only one message out of this week’s reading let it be this: When the going gets tough, accept the offered help. We are raw with tension because we’re trying to live up to a comparison formed from an old world, informed by trauma, shaped by inequality. Do we really want to measure up to the expectations of the people who broke the world? Or are we finally ready to become the people we need to be to bring the world to wholeness?
Where We Are This Week
Five of Swords
Throat Chakra
Prior experience has taught us to walk into a lot of situations with our swords drawn, ready for a fight. But, speaking as a former mediator here, that’s often what creates the conflict in the first place – the perception of a threat. And right now the world is doing a number to provoke that sense of threat in us, which we then provoke in others. All it takes is one itchy finger, one misplaced comma, one wrong capitalization or synonym to provoke a reaction all over the internet. We need to be very clear with our communication this week and do our best not to be the ones who pick a fight if we can help it. We don’t need to let our guard down, but we do need to hold ourselves accountable for when we’re just sporting for a fight.
Messages from our Guides
Five of Pentacles
Root Chakra
It is easy to look at what others have and find ourselves lacking. I could look at a dozen other Latinas on the internet and think they all look more curvy, stunning and ….well, authentic than I do. Similarly, I know I could take any woman interested in my partners and find something wrong with me compared to her. Yet, all that craning my neck and envious pedestal bumping distracts me from noticing the people who put me up on one – thinking that I’m more educated, articulate or intuitive than they are. No matter how the world squeezes us this week, resist the urge to compare our bounty to someone else’s when what we need is to take the nourishment we can find and let that feed the roots of the abundance already growing for us.
Messages from Lady Gaia/Mother Earth
King of Cups
Sacral Chakra
The King of Cups is calm and composed, but not cold or dispassionate. The greatest asset we have this week is the ability to exercise what we have learned in the mastery of our emotional selves. This means we have built-in mechanisms to catch the overflow of emotions when we get triggered (like when someone makes a terrible comment). Now is the time to put those boundaries to the test and see how they hold up. Can we be present with others in tenderness and compassion, without drowning in the sorrow they try to pull us into? Are we able to get through that difficult conversation without resorting to screaming and name-calling? You are the sovereign of your emotional world – now let it shine through!
Messages from the Ancients
Nine of Cups (R)
Heart Chakra
There is an abundance of help waiting for us through our ancestors and spiritual lineage. Enough of us have been doing the necessary healing work that we can now hear their voices reaching out to us. And yet, despite their warnings, we still reach for the poisons they drank, the same patterns they wore thin. We haven’t integrated their gifts, we’ve left them in the corner like the socks we got for Christmas. But little do we know that once we learn to accept them with the reverence and care they are due, we get that much closer to our desires, our true bounty.
Messages from Our Future Selves
The Hanged Man (R)
Crown Chakra
Notice how the crow in this picture is practically strutting as it tries to pull its feathers out trying to move forward. Well, that’s us…if we keep going the way we have been we’re going to be pulling ourselves apart with how deeply we’ve been resisting the lesson offered. We’ll keep going confidently in the direction of our demise instead of seeing the pause for what it is, a chance to not force ourselves free but to find freedom in the suspension of our old beliefs. See them from a new perspective instead of trying to rush through the lesson.
Messages from Mother Mary
Ace of Wands/ (R)
Third Eye Chakra
We’ve had this lesson show up in this exact position before – showing us a balance between what we want and the clouded doubts that we are so very attached to. We distrust those who came before us, leaving us with a world of scarcity and trauma, but we also don’t yet trust in our own power to get ourselves unstuck from our old patterns. Mother Mary is pointing to how universal this experience is, it is the literal balance between our past and our future, our potential and our outcome, our failure and our healing. But a stubborn refusal to either listen or learn (or both) is about to tip the balance back in the favor of our attachment to doubt.
Undercurrents
Knight of Pentacles (R)
Solar Plexus Chakra
Normally the knight knows exactly what they want and can call in all the favors they need to get the job done. Right now, if the abundance, ideas, and manifestations aren’t quite happening it’s because there is still a knot of indecision about what you want. Double check the posts from “The Spinning Compass” on forward to get an idea of where that knot is so you can become a master of your path once again.
Final Advice
The Hierophant (R)
Third Eye Chakra
I have been quite critical of the spiritual bypassing I’ve seen in spiritual circles, particularly since 2020 (Read: The Lightwashing of Reality). They all claimed to know “the truth” and yet burrowed themselves so deeply in systems and leaders that represented violent schism instead of peaceful transition. Too many abandoned the collective to save themselves, building themselves pre-fab mansions of denial to hide out the apocalypse they threw the match on. Well, those of us who stayed behind learned how to come together in networks of collective care, closed to the prying desperate eyes of those who abdicated their duty to the rest of us. New systems are coming and those who dared to care for each other will be those who are the rule makers for the world to come.
Parting words from a Geek Empress
While I may not be practicing law anymore, I am proud of how I use my legal education in the current work I do. I went to law school to learn how to craft better laws that included everyone else. Because I lived in the in-between spaces of life, I cared deeply about serving those that society tended to exclude or diminish. Critical race theory, a class I took in law school, was instrumental in shifting how I approach & evaluate the world. particularly as a half Mexican, bisexual, polyamorous neurospicy woman with invisible disabilities.
Understanding the structural impacts of law, regulatory policy, governance and even rules of procedure is, I believe – a fundamental skill that we are missing in leadership. Oh, we teach compliance, but we don’t teach how to evaluate and correct for structural bias within the face of the law/process itself. For two years I was the president of the ACLU at our law school, giving me a seat on our state board. All of this structural education was mastered when I started drafting & advocating for laws directly.
It wasn’t until recently that I found out my grandfather had been the first “equal opportunity employer” in my state, the first of many attempts at reparations my family would do. My dad raised me to be conscious of my privilege, schooling me on civil rights at the dinner table those lonely nights it was just the two of us. Knowing I was also Mexican, my dad was preparing me to be a shield for the rest of my family. I turned that into my life’s work.
This moment in Andor sums up the layers of wisdom earned from years of control & betrayal. Generations that fail to remediate for the mistakes that came before will eventually put enough pressure that we finally pop and bedlam ensues. The most dangerous time in any relationship is when someone is trying to leave their abuser. Well, multiples of us are trying to leave oppressive systems – so don’t be surprised that we’re feeling this squeeze.
Hang on to your sanity, be as clear about your intentions as possible and soon some cracks of relief will emerge so we can tend to the raw wounds of all this tension as this reckoning starts to bubble forth.
No matter what happens this week, remember I am with you always in love 💖
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